The Refuge

A refuge from the desolation
It is currently Thu Oct 29, 2020 6:20 pm

All times are UTC [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2020 11:16 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2014 5:58 pm
Posts: 1163
Location: Right behind you.
I'm tired of hearing about things people miss during COVID so here is a list of things I won't miss at all.

PTA meeting with the one angry mother who insists she is the only one who cares, even if everyone else does not. Oops, just remote muted her during a Google Group Chat.

The talent show, if your kids were talented, let's face it, they would have a youtube channel with more than 23 views. The school play where the drama teacher is acting out her dreams of being a director with a group of kids who can't tell if they are in West Side Story or All Quiet on the Western front. I mean, both have cowboys, right? It's the West.

Every single musical performance where the is one kid who is knocking off Chopan like he was born to it against 800 tone-deaf kids with $8 song flutes. Where have you ever seen anyone use a song flute outside of school? Street musicians? Concerts? Carnegie Hall? Come on now, let's face it, most of these kids couldn't DJ, can they just learn to humm quietly behind the kids with actual musical ability?

Every pot luck dinner where 8 people come in with crockpots filled with Swedish Meatballs and only that one single dad dumps two packages of Lil' Smokies in one with a bottle of BBQ sauce and calls it an early day. I was out of Elementary School for six years and I was still getting calls from the PTA asking if they could borrow our 20 cup coffee percolator. You know the one, with the fabric cord that you know is asbestos, the glass tube you can't remove to clean and a power spike when it comes on that always trips the breaker in the cafeteria.

Parent-teacher conferences. You are a teacher if you can't put it in an email, what is face to face going to add to it? If I needed to see a look of disappointment I could look in the mirror. Has she hit anyone? No? Oh, sure, she is a bitch at home as well, but it's the law and from 8 - 3 she is the state's problem.

Any fast food place that lets the kids handle the food for that school's "night". I don't care what charity it's for, the football team, a new piano, baseball jackets, I'll go and pay, just don't let the kids touch the food. Or the teachers. Yeah, I want the guy who though majoring in English was the way to make a living. Sure he probably belongs on the fry machines, but hasn't watched the state required food handling video, and by watching I mean sit in a room with the last VCR on earth and play on his phone while it plays on a 12" TV.

Trick or treating. What the hell people, dress up your kids, buy your own damn candy and sit at home and watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show like normal people. And you have to do it like three times, once at the school parking lot hand out candy while a bunch of kids walk in a circle, once at the church parking lot where a bunch of kids walk in a circle and then sit at your house and get up every five minutes when groups of kids drive over to your neighborhood to get candy while their parents pace them in a minivan blocking traffic. Then talk your kids down because someone starts telling stories of how when he was a kid before they went to give the Kaiser what for, candy was filled with rat poison, pins, and razor blades. save yourself some time, just draw eyes on a pumpkin and wrap a surgical mask around it and call it an early night.

Any school sporting event, everything from track meets, sitting on a slab of aluminum in the stands for a football or baseball game, or trying not to pass out in the school gym during basketball or wrestling. I set up the school camera and streaming server for free just to get out of this. Hey, let's go sit out in the sun or the cold while local street gangs rob the cars in the parking lot and cheer for our team. Let's face it, they won't hear a lot of cheering anywhere else. It is fun to watch the parents cursing and throwing death threats at each other after the game when the kids got tired of waiting and went home by themselves though. Hey parents, it's the USA and your kids are playing soccer, no one cares.


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2020 4:09 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:50 pm
Posts: 1223
Location: Montana
Ah, the things I don't miss. Thank you, ME.

_________________
Cry HAVOC!!!, and let slip the Dogs of War!

...specialization is for insects. - Lazarus Long


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2020 4:04 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2014 5:58 pm
Posts: 1163
Location: Right behind you.
Five days and I get teachers back on Sept 1st, kids show up on the 3rd. Can we fix it? Fuck no, I don't even know where it is yet. Put in more machines, take out more machines, everyone faces the same way, everyone faces the wall, up, down, left, right, fight, fight, fight. Not enough room for computers? Take them all out of the room. Hey, we need computers to teach, put them back in. Six feet apart, so take half o them out. Hey, you can't run cables from the ceiling or tape them to the floor. How am I powering a desktop in the middle of the room? Oh, we are having a contractor come in and install power poles. Sure, can't get someone to connect the new cubicle's electrical wires into an outlet in two years, but I'm going to have power poles installed with network cables by Monday? Pffffft.

We will just order more laptops, when is the soonest we can get them? January and they are lying about that delivery date. I'm also told we will have a thermal camera that can measure the temperature of 20 people at a time installed by Monday. Like, I'm sure that is how it will go.

How many kids in each room? Just read the number on the door, so I go and look, room 205 # of students N/A, room 206 # of students N/A, room 209 # of students, N/A. Am I supposed to solve for N/A? If you need Algebra done, man, do you have the wrong guy. Just take half the computers out of every room, so there are 20 computers in room 211, so I leave 10? No, they need 12, well than 212 has 30 computers, so I need to take out 15, no leave 20.

Hey, home come none of these rooms are set up yet? What do you need? I need all of you to get together, figure out how many kids go in each room, and no one change that number five minutes later. What do I need? Tents, laptop, and tents, everyone out in the parking lot and wait, winter is coming.

Ha, my boss took the last two weeks off and hasn't checked his email, so he things I finished everything sometime this week. I get a call at 2 this afternoon, you know that room where you have stored the 123 computers and the 200 odd monitors that were connected to them? All of that stuff needs to be moved out of the classroom by next Monday and it turns into a classroom for 9 kids. You can shove everything into that closet across the hall, your office, the empty office downstairs inside the admin office, and one in Guidance. Or about a fifth of the space it currently occupies. Then tell the angry women who work in there that she is losing her private classroom and her personal bathroom and will now be sitting where everyone in the Main Office can see that she only works about 2 hours out of the day. Darn, forgot to send that email before I left for vacation starting today. I'm sure they will do fine without me. I did remember to make of list of all the stuff that needs to be done before the school year starts and email it to the kid they promoted over me, and the site boss or team leader or whatever he is called and the tech director to make sure he doesn't just sit in the office for the next week on Facebook.

I miss the day when all I had to worry about in High School was someone coating the bathroom faucets in PCP.


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group